March Madness Justifies 4 Day Benders!

I'm still in it babay!  I lost some key games, but my final match ups are still alive.  My f%&*$@* awesome bracket! was a devil in disguise, though.  Starting around 12 pm a week ago, the drinking and rootin'-for-the-hoopin started.  I didn't sober up until right before work started on Monday.  Lucky for everyone the games took a few days off and I got to pretend to care about football for a while again with the Tebow/Manning thing. 

Now that Syracuse tips off in 2.5 hours, I face an important set of decisions . . . to engage in another 4 day bender or not?  This time, my man's in town, there's a big music festival (Treefort!), and the sun will be out.  Methinks that's a recipe for awesomeness.  Miss Liver may disagree.

A tisket, a tasket, my f%&*$@* awesome bracket!

Friends, I am quite proud of the work that went into this year's selection.  What you have before you is the Kelsey Jae Thought Process on Selecting Winners.  I'd like to thank my special guest, Urban Lindsay aka Lindsanity.  She helped me through some "tough" decisions.

Round 1

• South
• KENTUCKY - like a 16 is going to beat a 1.  Even I know that.  Plus, I love Anne and she's from Kentucky. 
• UCONN - Kyle loves UConn!  I want him to be happy.
• WITCHITA - hahaha, the Shockers!  And I love Ron Baker's blue eyes and his awesome white boy fro!  
• NEW MEXICO - oooh I love Wendell McKines' neck tattoo.  RARR.  It goes well w/his slanty smile.
• COLORADO - I'm way more into mountains and rivers than Vegas (Vegas has its time and place, don't get me wrong).  And Askia Booker's hair and face are so cute!  I kind of like Beau Gamble too.  Ha - Gamble, Vegas, get it?  uhhhh...
• S. DAKOTA ST.  Fuck Baylor.  I have my reasons.
• XAVIER. This was hard.  Xavier has quite a few boys I find attractive.  Dee Davis looks troubled; Brad Redford is awesome; Isiah Philmore's eyes are mesmerizing, and Erik Stenger wants to shotgun Miller Lights with me, I can tell.  Notre Dame can't compete.  While I like Tim Abromaitis and Joey Brooks, I've got to go w/the numbers.  Plus I like names that start with an X. 
• LEHIGH.  I've never even heard of them.  But I like all the smiling boys on the front page website video.  And Duke kind of scares me.  It's all aristocratic. 
• West
• LONG ISLAND.  I know this is probably ill advised.  They are 16 and Mich St. is 1.  But everyone's going to go with Mich.  And I love me a good Long Island Tea.  Second only to his dirty cousin the Black Opal.  I shall go to the bar on this game and drink one of each.  It will be worth making this pick for that.
• ST. LOUIS.  Big Nelly fan.  He's from the Show-Me-State. 
• LONG BEACH ST.  Snoop's from the east side LBC.
• LOUISVILLE. First boy on the roster is Angel Nunez!  Derrr!
• MURRAY.  I picked Murray b/c I always think of Drop Dead Fred when I hear that name.  "And this one's for ruining the one stoop I get a month while Murray's wife is out of town!!!"
• MARQUETTE.  I guess . . . they haven't designated the other one yet.  I've done enough guessing for now.
• FLORIDA.  I don't really care about these teams that much.  Florida is ranked higher.
• MISSOURI.  I HATE trying to pronounce Norfolk.  Plus I know some douchebag narc from there. 
• East
• SYRACUSE.  Have to pick the Number 1.
• SOUTHERN MISS.  Makes me think of Blanche Devereaux
• VANDERBILT.  Harvard can eat it.
• MONTANA.  Aaah Montana.  The beautiful wild west.  Wrangler butts drive me nuts.
• TEXAS.  I love throwing up the horns.  It makes me think of my little sister Gabrielle who did that all the time when she was wee.
• ST. BONAVENTURE!  This is French for GOOD VACATION!  whoot!
• W. VIRGINIA.  Ooh my scary Turk is back.  Let's hope he doesn't get benched this time and make me lose in the second round.  Get a hair cut, Deniz.  Fuckin hipsters are rubbing off on you.
• OHIO. 2 v. 15.  and my mom likes them for football.
• Midwest
• N. CAROLINA.  Linsantity thinks that "North Carolina will DESTROY."  That's all I need to know.
• ALABAMA.  The Creighton Bluejays don't even have pictures on their roster.  F that.  And Alabama is the Crimson Tide.  I wrote a blog about them once.
• ROUND 1 #4.  I'm more into that than the Temple.  I just don't like the word Temple.  It makes me think of lots of bad things.  Marty Sabrook.  Templeton the Rat.  Religious zealotry.
• OHIO.  Their opening website was sextastic.  I liked the imagery.
• SAN DIEGO. Kerri just moved there!
• GEORGETOWN.  Sending GOOD ENERGY.  Linsanity wants to go there for school.  
• PURDUE.  I like to say Per-Du and stick my lips out.  Plus, I'm no nun.
• DETROIT WHAT?

Round 2:  To make these selections, I must refer back to the reasons I picked the teams in the first place.  Then put Reason 1 v. Reason 1 to come up with Round 2 Reason.

•  South
• UCONN.  I almost picked Kentucky just so I could argue with Kyle during this game.  Then I thought about how much more fun it would be to be on his same side!  Yip yip!  
• WITCHITA. Neck Tattoo or the Shockers + White Boy Fro.  Ya' heard.
• COLORADO.  I love them more than I hated Baylor, which is the only reason I picked S. Dakota before.
• XAVIER.  Numbers and X.  
• West
• ST. LOUIS.  I am unlikely to win the Long Island basketball game (drinking game, on the other hand . . . )
• LOUISVILLE.  NUNEZ NUNEZ NUNEZ NUNEZ!!
• MURRAY.  hahaha, takes more than a firetruck to stop Drop Dead Fred!
• MISSOURI.  My first round picks for these guys was pretty non-emotional.  Going with the numbers on this one.
• East
• SYRACUSE.  Blanche would want me to pick the winner.  These guys are #1~
• MONTANA.  I prefer cowboys.
• BON ADVENTURE!  I like a good vacation.  
• W. VA.  I'll never abandon my scary Turk!
• Mid-West
• N. CAROLINA.  They will destroy.  Plus, now that I think about it, one of my favorite songs in dance class is that Breathe Carolina song, "Blackout."
• ROUND 1 # 4.  Oooh taking a chance on the mystery!
• GEORGETOWN.  Kerri cares about basketball way less than Linsanity cares about good vibes for Georgetown.
• PER-DU.  Yeahhhh...Can't wait to delicately state "Per Du" all day

Round 3:  Same drill as Round 2!

• South
•  WITCHITA. If it gets this far, I will have already had my bonding time with Kyle and will be ready to cheer on the Shockers and White Fro.
• XAVIER.  This one was pure superficiality.  Lots of hot guys and X.  Gets me every time.
• West
• LOUISVILLE.  NUNEZ NUNEZ NUNEZ!!!
• MURRAY.  We're making pants pie . . . with vodka.
• East
• SYRACUSE.  They are number 1. 
• W. VA.  Damn this one was haaaarrrd!  But the Scary Turk wins.
• Mid-West
• NORTH CAROLINA.  I won't black out.  This won't stop, till I say so!
• PUR DOOOO.  I ran this by Lindsay.  She knows how much joy I get out of saying PUR DOO and PER DU.  I love her.

THE FINAL FOUR~!!!!!!!

• WITCHITA!!!!  Silllk the Shocker!
• NUNEZ!  I mean LOUISVILLE!!  How often to do I get to shout NUNEZ in the bar?  haha, it happens a lot actually.
• W. VA.  HOT TURK.
• N. CAROLINA.  I'll just Per Du when talking about the losers.  Then I win both ways.

CHAMPIONSHIP

• LOUISVILLE.  I prefer my namesake to surprise fingers in the butt.
• N. CAROLINA.  I was going to stick w the Scary Turk the whole way.  But he fucked up last year.  Fool me once . . . 

WINNER:  NORTH CAROLINA

SCORE:  187

March Mad-ticipation Part Deux

YES YES YES!  The bracket was released today!!  I'm so excited for the next few weeks.  Tomorrow night, me and my hot betch of a dear friend LINSANITY will be dressing up and hitting up the wi-fi at the sports bar to fill them out.  I envision lots of in depth discussion about sexy coaches, buff shoulders, strong forearms, scary faces, jaw bones, feelings, and maybe some logical analysis of statistical likelihood to succeed.  Last year, I did a fairly good job for the first two rounds, but then my Scary Turk from West Virginia got benched and my selection was out for good.  I think that was a fluke and some bad luck.  It did not make me doubt my methodology. 

See you on the court!  And by court I mean bar.  yip yip!

March Mad-ticipation!

So I've been pre-prepping myself for the March Madness bracket selection by paying attention to games when I'm at restaurants and bars.  Today, I was so excited when I saw Tyler Zeller do that behind-the-back slam dunk!  That was awesome!!  Then I was informed that it was a mistaken tip-in for the other team.  I still find his mad skills endearing.  Something tells me I'm not going to win my bracket . . .